Before the Veil
by A Amelia Black
Summary: The final hours before Sirius fell through the veil. What went through his mind in those last few moments and the immense courage of one of the last Marauders.


_**Before the Veil**_

**"Every spirit builds itself a house,  
and beyond its house a world,  
and beyond its world a heaven."**  
_Ralph Waldo Emerson_

_They say that loved ones never truly leave. Their spirits are bound to the earth, perhaps with unfinished business. It's hard to leave this world, but the hardest part of all is letting go. The people that the spirits leave behind miss them. Some even believe that they could have done something, but in all reality, it's fate. No matter how hard they wish, no matter how hard they are on themselves, it changes nothing. All they can do is move on and become stronger._

_If they keep that person in their hearts, they're never truly gone. And when they need them, their strength will be there. _

_The day of the attack_

_12 Grimmauld Place – prior to the attack_

"Buckbeak," sighed Sirius, kneeling next to the Hippogriff. "That blasted, filthy, useless…" he muttered under his breath. "Kreacher has no right. No right." Buckbeak just eyed him as Sirius tended to the Hippogriff's wound. Using his wand, he healed Buckbeak's ankle. "That should do you."

He sat back, looking around the dingy upstairs room. 12 Grimmauld Place. It seemed he'd never escape it, no matter how hard he tried. _I hate just sitting here, not being able to do anything. Harry could be in trouble and I'd be here, twiddling my thumbs. _He glared outside the dirty window, as if somehow it would help. He pulled out a worn piece of paper from his pocket, unfolding it to reveal a creased photograph. It was one of him and James, just after James had found out he was a father. Sirius never went anywhere without the photograph, the only tie he had left to the past.

_Not like I can go anywhere anyways. Dumbledore's becoming mental in his old age. I can handle anything Voldemort wants to throw at me. I am not going to lose Harry!_ He gripped the photograph so hard that his knuckles turned white and he looked away from the smiling faces, his heart wrenching. He shut his eyes. _I'm sorry James. You're my best friend. I will not fail you again. Harry will not be hurt, I swear on my life. I would do anything to protect him. _Sirius looked back at the photograph, gingerly smoothing out the creases. "He reminds me of you, James," he whispered. "So much. Every time I look at him, I think of you. I remember all those times we got in trouble, racking up those detentions." He chuckled dryly. "We were the talk of the school. Harry is too. Seems he can't stay out of trouble, just like his father."

He swallowed, choking back the tears that threatened to come. "I'm sorry, James. It's all my fault. That night…I shouldn't have let Pettigrew be the Secret Keeper…I was an idiot to trust him. We all were. If I hadn't…you'd still be alive." He pounded one of his fists into the wooden floor, sending up a flurry of dust mites. His shoulders shook and he felt hot tears sting his eyes. "Harry shouldn't have had to grow up the way he did. I swear, James. I swear to you that I will not leave him. I will be here for him, no matter what. I won't leave him alone. I can't…I can't lose him. I've already lost you…I can't lose Harry too." His heart and chest ached from the old pain and he finally let go. His entire body shook as he released all the pent up fury and old wounds of the past.

He didn't know how much time had passed and didn't stir until he heard a sharp voice call "Sirius!"

Sirius immediately leapt to his feet, moving swiftly out of the room. He took the stairs two at a time, descending into the living room. Moody, Tonks, Shacklebolt and Remus were standing around the fire. Sirius glanced past them, catching the face of Snape in the flames. "What's going on?" he asked, his heart beating rapidly. "Is it Harry? What happened? Where is he?"

Remus held up a hand to quiet his friend. "Harry's gone missing. Snape believes he's gone after you, believing you were in danger."

"But – why, why would he think that?" sputtered Sirius. "I've been locked in this hell hole since day one." His voice grew bitter and angry. "What was he thinking?"

"If you'd be quiet for one minute, Black," came the oily voice of Severus, "we could tell you."

"Don't even test me right now, Snape," retorted Sirius.

"Enough," said Shacklebolt. "We're going after Harry. He disappeared into the woods just outside Hogwarts. Severus informed us of Harry's vision. He saw you, trapped in the bowels of the Department of Mysteries. We believe he might be going to there, to save you."

"Dumbledore's coming but we can't all wait for him," said Moody.

"One of us needs to stay behind," said Snape.

"I'm not staying behind," said Sirius quickly, before anyone could suggest it. "I'm going after Harry."

"It's far too dangerous, Sirius," said Shacklebolt.

"Dumbledore will be here soon enough," said Snape coolly. "The others will head to the Ministry. You wait here until Dumbledore arrives and inform him of where we've gone and what happened."

Sirius glared at Snape. "Don't tell me what to do, Snape," he spat. "I'm going after Harry."

"Someone has to tell Dumbledore," said Remus.

"That someone will not be me," retorted Sirius. He glanced around and snapped, "Kreacher!"

The house elf appeared around a corner, glowering as usual. He didn't say anything.

"Dumbledore will be coming. Tell him that Snape has contacted us and that Harry is missing. We're going to the Ministry to find him," ordered Sirius.

"As my Master wishes," said Kreacher in a voice that contained only spite. However, Kreacher couldn't very well disobey him. Kreacher began muttering about "tainted lines" and "pathetic descendents" as he slunk away into the shadows.

"There, it's settled," said Sirius, looking around at the Order. His eyes showed his courage and determination, as well as a steel will. "I'm going." He kept his gaze hard, as if challenging anyone to object.

"Very well," said Shacklebolt finally. "We need to get going."

"Yes. We can't waste anymore time," agreed Remus.

"Severus, we'll meet you there," said Moody and Snape's face disappeared from view.

"Well, Sirius," said Tonks as they made their way out of the house. "At least you can't complain about being locked up anymore."

Sirius didn't answer and instead Disapparated. The others soon followed.

_Department of Mysteries _

They ran through the corridors and heard shouting in the distance. "We're getting closer," growled Moody.

Sirius' heart was racing as he held his wand out, ready for attack. _I will not lose Harry. I can't. He's got to live. I owe James that much. _He didn't even relish in the fact that he was free of the prison that was Grimmauld Place. All he could think about was Harry and the fact that he was in danger.

They blasted through the doors, coming out on a landing. Below them, in the center of the room were a group of Death Eaters, Harry, and Neville. Neville was on the ground, sobbing and Harry was facing off against the Death Eaters. Sirius recognized Lucius Malfoy, an angry Dolohov, and Bellatrix. The rest were still hidden behind their masks. On a dais in the center of the room was a tall, stone archway, with a black, ragged veil.

His grip tightened on his wand and his gaze narrowed. The Order began firing off curses, raining them down up on the Death Eaters. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw Malfoy raise his wand but Tonks hit him squarely with a Stunning Spell. It knocked Malfoy backwards but Sirius didn't pay attention after that. He sprinted down the steps, taking them several at a time. He fired off curses at the Death Eaters, focused on getting to Harry.

A Death Eater leapt in front of Sirius, who responded with, "_Reducto!_" His spell knocked the Death Eater back but the man shot a spell at Sirius, who narrowly dodged it. The room was smoky, filled with bright streaks of light as various groups dueled. Sirius battled the Death Eater, trying to search for Harry at the same time. He saw Kingsley battling two Death Eaters and Tonks had gone after Bellatrix.

As the Death Eater shot another string of curses his way, Sirius focused on dueling and all he heard was the next spell being uttered. Sirius dueled fiercely, his mind working overtime as he rattled off curse after curse. They moved across the floor, stepping over anything in their way. Sirius leapt onto one of the stone benches and the Death Eater followed. "_Iacio!_" yelled Sirius, sending the Death Eater flying into one of the upper stone benches. The man crumpled into a heap and Sirius leapt off the bench.

He spotted Moody on the ground and then saw his attacker, Dolohov, lurch towards two figures. As part of the smoke cleared slightly, he recognized Harry and Neville, on the ground. He heard Harry yell, "_Protego!_" just as Dolohov sent a curse their way. As Dolohov raised his wand, Sirius lunged, ramming his shoulder into Dolohov and sending him flying. He saw Dolohov get to his feet and ran after him, lashing out with curses.

The fighting brought back memories, of when he and James had fought off the Death Eaters together. He wished James was there now. They had always been the strongest team, but he wasn't. _He won't be. But I can make sure that Harry stays alive. I have to._ He saw Dolohov raise his wand but before he could react, he heard Harry yell, "_Petrificus Totalus!_" Dolohov's limps snapped together and he fell back, completely stiff.

"Nice one!" shouted Sirius, glancing at Harry. He saw the gleaming orb that was the Prophecy in Harry's hands. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw two brilliant flashes of light and pulled Harry down quickly, narrowly dodging a pair of Stunning Spells. "Now I want you to get out of –"

A jet of green light flashed towards them and they ducked quickly. Sirius glanced up to see Tonks fall and a triumphant Bellatrix. Hatred swelled within Sirius and he uttered a low growl. _She will pay for what she's done. I will take out my vengeance on her and it will be sweet. She won't harm Harry, not if I have anything to say about it._

"Harry, take the prophecy, grab Neville, and run!" he yelled, lunging to his feet. He ran towards Bellatrix, focused only on bringing her down. The others would be free in a matter of minutes. Harry would get out.

Bellatrix sneered as Sirius came towards her. "Ooh, look who's come to fight me now!" she taunted.

"You won't be so cocky after I kill you," snarled Sirius as he leapt up onto the stone bench. "You don't try to kill my godson and my friends without expecting me to retaliate."

"Big words for such a little boy," she continued to taunt, shrieking with laughter.

Sirius only responded with a curse, which she dodged. They moved swiftly, firing curse after curse, leaping up onto a dais. They were a few feet above the rest of the fight and Sirius saw someone fly towards them, crashing into the base of the dais. He caught a glimpse of silvery hair and knew it had been Malfoy.

He knew that they were close to the veil but he paid it no attention. He instead turned his fiery gaze upon his cousin and fired a red curse, hitting her in the arm. She snarled and responded with a curse, which Sirius narrowly dodged.

He faintly heard Remus shout "Harry, round up the others and GO!" but didn't pay it much attention, too focused on his task at hand. Clashes and screams drowned out anything else around them. Sirius and Bellatrix battled on, their pace quickening, their breathing heavy. Sirius felt a bead of sweat gather on his forehead but he only moved with fierce determination.

She shot another curse at him and he dodged it. "You're pathetic, Bella! Can't even curse me!" he taunted.

She shrieked with anger. "You can't outrun me, Sirius! I will beat you!" She sent a red jet of light towards him and he ducked.

"Come on, you can do better than that!" he yelled, his voice echoing off the stone walls of the cavernous room.

The second jet of light hit him squarely in the chest. He was caught in mid-laugh and his eyes widened as he felt the numbness spread. As gravity took its toll, it pulled him backwards, towards the stone arch behind him. The black veil fluttered and he heard it by his ears. Surprise mingled with fear crossed his face as he realized what had just happened. _James…I'm so sorry,_ he thought. _Harry…please forgive me._

And then all was black.


End file.
